Shift aside, Nollywood. The real actors have arrived from Slumpywood to shake up the political theatres.

IGP Tafa Balogun became the first official slumper in 2005.

Not to be outdone, Femi Fani Kayode tried the slump stunt in 2016.

That signalled the boom in Slumpywood as Olisa Metu took a crash course and popularised the movement in 2018 with Ayo Fayose and Justice Rita Ofili joining the academy of Slumpers.

Senator Dino Melaye pushed them all aside and was sidelined for an Oscar performance in 2019.

When NDDC Keme Pondei saw the business was lucrative, he enlisted after undergoing a special course at Dinofayose academy of slump art in Gwagalada in 2020!

I have now left my grass cutting business and opened a very exclusive slump academy for only those top government officials and political office holders who have been given dates to appear at the National Assembly, EFCC drilling room or courts.

One has to be very creative, these days, and sniff out the odd niches where money can be made.

It’s a pity that this has become an embarrassing fad among that lot and the worse part is that they can’t even slump convincingly!

Wait till I open my academy, where I also teach football diving or simulation, and you’ll see Oscar-worthy performances.

I’m off to CAC to register my academy.

When you see me in my $18.7 million Bugatti La Voiture Noire remember I worked for it and not a potential slump Star!